I didn’t write a post last week. I thought of several ideas which will come out at some point, but nothing seemed right. I’ve figured out where the block lies: I think I made a bad decision. Perhaps two.
Sure, I make countless bad decisions throughout every day. Bad decisions are part of the normal course of breathing. This particular decision is one of the big life areas so it isn’t exactly every day and its implications could be bigger than most.
I’ve been here before, too. Right out of counseling school, I couldn’t find a position I wanted in the area I wanted. Staring down a draining bank account, panic set in and I ended up taking a job I never envisioned in a juvenile detention facility three states away. I knew full well it was not a good idea but easily allowed denial to overcome realism.
It lasted about five months. I liked the people I worked with, didn’t mind where I was working, and felt good about the work I was doing with the young men. But it wasn’t what I had in mind, I was totally on my own, the pay was paltry, the cost of living was even worse. And I was bored and lonely.
Even still, I look back on the peripheral effects of that decision with appreciation. Nothing will teach you more about the human condition, bad and good, than working with 11 to 13-year-olds who end up in prison. I lived in an extended-stay Motel 6 for a month where all you had to do to be accepted was shout “What’s up” to the guys leaning on the second-floor railing, respect other’s laundry, and give a quick upward nod to everyone who passed. I learned to force myself to get out and do things – alone.
Was taking that job a bad decision? If not making a well thought out decision is bad, then yeah. But if I look at the context around that decision, it’s hard to say it was so terrible. I constantly glean insights from the life lessons of those five long months.
Whatever comes of the decision I have at hand, I imagine there is a lot to take from it as well, both bad and good.
What insights have you taken away from your bad decisions?