My wife and I faced a very difficult decision over the past few weeks. Without getting into detail, the implications of the choices were immense. All of the choices had definite benefits and could turn out well. All of the choices would lead to long-term consequences, positive and/or negative. The problem we faced, though, was that any of the choices would cause a disruption in life as we know it with the real possibility of being detrimental.
We talked around the issues for a couple of weeks. We gathered information and talked to people with experience surrounding the one decision with which we had the least knowledge. We finally had to impose a deadline on our decision lest we contemplate it until it was removed from our control.
In our final conversation, we once again weighed all the choices and talked each one into the ground. I have a tendency to play devil’s advocate, which masks my personal leanings and frustrates the life out of my wife. Kudos to her for hanging in there.
Finally, my wife said, “I just want to make the right decision.”
Not sure where it came from, but my reply was, “There is no right decision here. We cannot know how any of them will turn out. What we have to do is turn whatever decision we choose into the best decision it can be.”
Within a few seconds, we had a decision.
I don’t have to convince anyone that many of life’s major decisions have choices where the “right” one is difficult or impossible to discern. Sometimes there is absolutely no right decision.
Our role, then is to make whatever decision we commit to the best decision it can be. That takes knowledge, effort, humility, guts, creativity, and risk-taking. And more than a little blood, sweat, and tears.
Even though my wife and I have made our decision, I cannot help but constantly reflect on why we decided what we decided. I am still trying to convince myself we can do this. I guess that is a necessary part of staying steadfast, committing our all to making it work, and increasing the probability that the results will be positive.
To all those who are in the midst of a big no-right-answer decision, you have my respect, well wishes, and encouragement to make the decision you choose into the best one it can be.