A sense of failure is by far the most common theme I hear from my clients as a counselor. When things don’t work out the way we plan or hope or work toward, it can create great tension and despair.
I have noticed that the perception of success or failure is mostly determined by the end result of our actions. More often than not, the effort and commitment put in is overlooked or negated by the results.
I wonder sometimes if we focus too much on the outcome of our actions rather than the actions themselves.
I recently watched the documentary ZZ Top: That Little Ol’ Band from Texas on Netflix. One of their first gigs was in Alvin, TX where they hoped for a sellout but half-capacity would have been sufficient.
When the curtain opened on stage, there was one guy standing in the room. One.
The guy turned to leave just as they started to play. They stopped and encouraged him to stay. They played their set. During a break, they talked with him and bought him a Coke for staying. Then they got back on stage for an encore. An encore, for one guy.
Here was the lesson for me: They were there to play music and that guy was there to hear music. They followed through with exactly what they were there to do. The ‘failure’ in terms of audience figures was not theirs to own but the success of completing the task of playing for an audience was.
I was reminded that we can only control what we are tasked to do. Results are influenced by our effort and commitment, but are not a guarantee. If we concentrate on our task, put all our efforts in, and persevere through the circumstances that arise, we have succeeded.
I wonder if I would have let that one guy in the audience leave when he turned toward the door. Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill, and Frank Beard simply carried on with what they were there to do.
I also wonder if I would have put down the guitars and drums after that show and sought another career direction. Gibbons, Hill, and Beard continued on. I never would have guessed, though, this bit of trivia presented at the end of the documentary: “ZZ Top is the longest surviving rock line up of all time.”
I have come to believe that success or failure is in the actions we can control. The results may not meet our hopes or expectations. What matters is our commitment to the task at hand, putting in our best effort, and persevering through the process.
Part 3 in a series on The Failures that Lead to Success.
Part 1: Redefining Success and Failure
Part 2: The Necessity of Failure
Part 3: True Failure